The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Fair Enough

Ugh, why do I fool myself into going home for the Fair every year? I always seem to forget how much it sucks, yet I get excited every September for its return. The York Fair, "America's First Fair," "The Great York Interstate Fair," etc. etc. is just as lame as ever, although I didn't realize how lame it was when I was younger and rode the rides and got out of school early to go. Okay, so it's like a state fair with prized farm animals and big-ass pumpkins; it's a carnival, complete with freakshow and rides; it's like being inside QVC, with people hawking food choppers and special cooking pans; there are Bible thumpers everywhere, giving gospel concerts and trying to pass out their "message"; nascar shirts everywhere, missing teeth, and crying children. And about 10 years ago, some guy got arrested for having sex with a sheep.

The good part about the Fair is the food: cheesesteaks, awesome cinnamon buns, peanut butter milkshakes, elephant ears, baked potatoes, fried veggies, shoo fly pie, and this place that will fry anything--oreos, twinkies and candy bars.

I also saw a sheep pee and a cow take a big dump. That was the highlight of the day. Well, that and my peanut butter milkshake.

A new ridiculous addition to the fair is the "Shoot a Live Target" game, where you can shoot a paintball gun at a "terrorist" who runs around in a tunic and turban. The game is decorated with signs that say "Die Osama!" and "Kill Terrorists!" There's a sign out front that says, "As seen on NBC News"... as if that's a good thing. Here's an article from our local paper: Am I the only one that finds this disgusting and racist?
A choice tidbit:
::"He dresses like a generic Arab," said Terry Kirby of Enola, Cumberland County, who is one of four of the game's creators. "You know, a white cape, and a red and white checkered tablecloth on his head."::
Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist and he didn't have a "red and white checkered tablecloth on his head." Stupid, ignorant sonsabitches.

I'm not ashamed of where I come from, but sometimes its hard not to be. Dover School District (where I did not go thank god, but is a rival school) has mandated that "Intelligent Design" must now be taught in science classes because "the universe is so complex that it must have been created by an unspecified higher power." i.e. religion is now going to be taught in the school: A few years ago our mayor was indicted for a 1969 murder of a black woman during some race riots:

So, that's my hometown. York, PA... home of the peppermint patty and barbells... and me.


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